I've never been good at decisions. In fact, I hate making big life decisions. Choosing a college was difficult enough. Now I have to decide what I want to do with my life? Ugh.
This is why I haven't posted in a while. Part of me feels like committing to a graduate program feels like I'm signing on for a career (and if I go into a research program, that means a career in research), and I don't feel like any 23-year-old should be in a career. I'm still at a job, but a career sounds so permanent. I don't like that. It makes me nervous. Another part of me wants to be financially settled, and a career would certainly lend a helping hand to that cause. So I long for a career, but I fear it.
After my meeting with the WWU professor, I went back to my job in Portland. One of the professors here, whom I respect and admire, asked me how my interview went, and I described it for him as I did for you. He was a bit shocked that it was only for a master's degree. He has been saying for 2 1/2 years now that I shouldn't be in a master's program, but should go right into a PhD program. Fun fact about science: You don't always need a masters to do a PhD. I could go straight into a PhD program if I found the right fit. Dr. P. said it's ultimately my decision about what program I go into, but he feels that if I'm going to earn another degree, I may as well invest the time and energy into a doctorate rather than a master's. Makes sense, right?
NO! It's even more intimidating! A doctorate means 5-6 years of study, for one project, and a fairly clear idea of what to do afterwards. I mean, it does make sense that if I'm going to go back to school, it should be for something that I want to spend a lot of time doing. If I were to go back, I would really like a research project to be focused on killer whales. That is the whole point of going back. If I went to WWU, I don't know that I would get to do research about whales. It'd probably end up being seals, sea lions, or something else. Great experience, but not what I want to do.
So now I still have to figure out what I'm going to do. I was hoping to meet with Jeff again from Killer Whale Tales to talk about how to get plugged into the whale world (for lack of a better description). Sadly, it may have to wait until after Christmas, if not in January.
Right now, I'm still not jazzed about the idea of jumping into research. I'll probably end up not applying this year. Again. And I'm trying to figure out what I want to do. Perhaps I should change the title of this blog to "Ashley Searches for a Career!"
My mom and I discussed the idea of veterinary school, which could be interesting. If I did that, I would want to focus on exotics and eventually work in a zoo, aquarium, or working in wildlife rehabilitation. Think oil spill rescue work. I'm also looking at education (think Pacific Science Center/OMSI) or even volunteer coordinator (organizing volunteers at places like zoos, etc.). I dunno! I'll definitely be spending time researching careers and job searching.
Thanks for reading! Thoughts/opinions from faithful friends? :)
2 comments:
I'm so with you. . . I hate making decisions as well!! It is hard because every day I'm discovering new careers/jobs that I never knew existed but that interest me. However, I don't quite have the right degree to actually do them. I've learned it is nearly impossible to plan out my life too far in advance because things are always changing. I've decided I just have to make the best decision at the present time and see where it takes me.
Hey Ash! Here's the thing. You don't have to be locked into a career. Look at me - 7 years computer programmer, 15 years parent ed, and now 1.5 years ECE. I'll admit parent ed and ECE are closely related, but the point is, you can follow a career for a while, and then you can change. You can go to school for one thing now, work at it for a while and then go back. Yes, it costs to go back, but when you really want it, it's worth it.
So, my advice for right now, this minute, is follow your dream. Don't settle for less. If whales are where it's at, then whales it should be - even if you have to wait till January! The good news is you are 23, you have a whole lifetime ahead of you to try it all out. You can try all those things you mentioned being interested in - every one of them! And you have a good job while you are figuring it out. Take your time - when it feels right, then it will be right.
I'm feeling a bit of a rush at 52 (almost 53) and starting on a doctorate. I don't have quite as much time as you do, but I decided it didn't matter, because we have to make the most of the time we are given.
Gandalf quote:
"So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All you have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you."
My other favorite:
"It is not our part to master all the tides of the world, but to do what is in us for the succor of those years wherein we are set, uprooting the evilin the fields we know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till. What weather they shall have is not ours to rule" Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien
Geeked out on you!
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